Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

Put this day in your pocket

In the background “Be Thou My Vision” is playing. It is a beautiful arrangement of my favorite hymn. I started playing music this morning because it is Jan’s birthday. So I found a version of the Happy Birthday song and played it at the top of my computer’s volume, followed by one of her favorite artists, Cynthia Erivo, singing the song from the movie “Harriet”. It is a powerful song about a strong woman who followed her destiny to free people from slavery. Jan is a strong woman herself, so she can appreciate the words of “I’m going to stand up!” against all odds. If you know Jan, you know that she has weathered storms since she was a child.

Something funny and wonderful happened to her in the grocery store the other day. She usually takes one of the motorized carts to make her way around the store. On this day she was buzzing through the fruit aisles. She had paused in front of the raspberry collection looking for berries to bring home. She was also waiting for a phone call from a doctor’s office as she went through the store. Anyway, here she was perusing the berries when she was approached by an older Black woman. The woman said, “I would like to pray for you. It’s what I do. I go around praying over people and I want to pray for you today.” Jan agreed, with the caveat that if she got a phone call, she had to take it. That did not phase the lady who commenced to call upon Sweet Jesus on Jan’s behalf. Jan says it was quite the Pentecostal prayer, complete with wide open arms stretched toward heaven. In the end, she proclaimed Jan to be consecrated by God and she thanked Jan for letting her pray. 

Jan doesn’t know what happened to the lady. Perhaps she found another soul to pray over, or perhaps she was escorted from the store. I meant to tell this story last night at my prayer chaplain meeting – a story about a woman committed to the power of her prayers. I admire the woman’s courage for putting her faith out to the world in such a manner. I don’t have that kind of chutzpa. I will stand quietly in the corner at church and wait to be approached. A lot safer, I would say.

Anyway, today Jan is 79 years old. As hard as that is to believe, it’s the truth. I’ll wait until next year to be amazed when she becomes 80…The last few years have not been kind to Jan health-wise. She has weathered some physical challenges that piled upon her is swift succession. Five bouts of pneumonia a few years ago; a mishap with her heart rhythm leading to a pacemaker insertion; lung surgery to remove a cancer; and now, a new diagnosis of insulin-dependent diabetes. Last night she proclaimed, “I may have diabetes, and I am going to be the best diabetic ever!”. She has accepted this diagnosis with grace and relative ease.

When she was a working woman she took her employer to court for treating women in an inferior manner when compared to the male employees. She won and the women were compensated, except for Jan. She got nothing but the satisfaction of having made her point loud and clear. That’s BadAss.

She grew up as a gay person in a Pentecostal household. She remembers being around 12 when she looked around at the people she lived with and knew that whatever they were, she was not part of it. She lived most of her life closeted from the disapproval of her family members regarding same sex love. She didn’t come out to them or to her work until after she met me in 2005. That’s a long time to live a double life, which she did quite successfully.

So tonight we are going to celebrate her birthday at one of her favorite restaurants where she can get a good steak, and a bite of birthday carrot cake. Both of us are only allowed one bite, so the rest of the cake will go home with our friend who is celebrating with us. Happy Birthday to my Sweetheart!

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