Today’s blog
Lynn Murphy Mark
On Spiritual Direction
“Part of the process of becoming ourselves, however, lies in having someone against whose wisdom we can test our own.”
This nugget is from today’s newsletter written by Sister Joan Chittister. She is a Benedictine nun who has never been afraid to speak the truth, either in her writing or in her speaking. I think the gentlemen in Rome, with perhaps the exception of Pope Francis, would like to see her quiet down. She is fearlessly supported by her order so she will always have a home. She also has the privilege of living in Ireland for weeks at a time as she writes her latest book. I admire her from afar.
This morning what she wrote on friendship, and also on spiritual direction, caught my attention. A few years ago I asked one of my friends who also happens to be a Sister if she would become my spiritual director. After a good deal of thought, during which she pondered her qualifications, she agreed. We meet once a month and it may well be one of the best uses of an hour out of my day.
I asked her because I have admired the way her mind works for the 20+ years that I have known her. (She is from Ireland so the bit of brogue goes a long way too.). She is a storehouse of information on just about anything that has to do with spiritual matters, which is why I laughed out loud when she said she wasn’t sure if she was qualified. Here’s an example of this woman’s breadth of knowledge: I was explaining that I finally understood a little bit about the PhD thesis that Ted is writing. It is a study of how we know what we know. As if that isn’t esoteric enough, for me anyway, she exclaimed, “Yes. Epistemology!” Now who in the world knows that word who isn’t a student of Philosophy? My Spiritual Director, that’s who.
Once a month I go to be reminded that I am “a spiritual being having a human experience”. That means no subject is off limits since it all involves the condition of my spirit. We don’t just discuss my childhood trauma of being taught that God is a guy that keeps score and is probably not pleased with me most of the time. Over my decades I have come to a very different understanding of God as a force for good and for love. We talk about how that works in my everyday life. She challenges me to keep thinking about ways that I can behave, knowing that I exist in the presence of love and I live in an orderly Universe.
She also know a whole lot about the Enneagram and the Meyers-Briggs Inventory. These are two systems that have informed me of my best behavior and my most challenging tendencies. Somehow she helps me understand these in the context of my day to day living. We talk about ways to develop my strengths, and ways to give away that which no longer serves me. In her counsel, there is always a message about the value of finding my truth and being able to live it and speak about it.
One day she taught me the practice of “automatic writing”. This is done with pen and paper – no computer on which to quicky correct a “mistake”. Instead, I start writing about whatever is distressing me spiritually and I do not pause to cross out or correct anything, I just keep writing. With this kind of free-floating thinking, issues come up that I may have buried and not wanted to think about. But the process of continuous writing somehow sets them free, and often with the thoughts comes a new insight.
That’s just one thing I’ve learned from my Spiritual Director. I consider myself fortunate and blessed.