Today’s blog, from the road
Lynn Murphy Mark
“Some are silver, and the other, gold”
In case you were never a Brownie or a Girl Scout, the above is a line from a friendship song where people are encouraged to “make new friends, but keep the old…” . Yesterday I had lunch with my golden friend, Tylka and her partner, Cynthia. Tylka and I went to school together from grade 8 in 1961 until graduation from Sao Paulo Graded School, in Sao Paulo, Brazil in 1966. That makes her my longest term friend.
Her father worked for Ford and mine worked for General Motors. That long time rivalry did not keep us from forming a solid friendship through High School and beyond. I admired Tylka for her athletic prowess, something I was not gifted with. Softball was her game and she was good at it. She had friends and even had a boyfriend, something else I was not gifted with – except for D’Jalma, my Brazilian Summer boyfriend. Anyway, we endured the rigors of High School together. She followed the rules way more than I ever did.
After High School we went our separate ways and I was heartbroken. I didn’t understand why, but I loved her at a pretty deep level. Anyway, our communication was sporadic for many years. I don’t remember who reached out first, but we got together in St. Louis while she was traveling for a Presbyterian publishing company. Then there was the time several years later when she and her partner, who are still together, came to St. Louis for a visit and met my kids over dinner at my house.
Fast forward to 2014. She and Cynthia were living in DC, both of them librarians. Much to my joy, they wanted to move to New Mexico. They came to visit in Santa Fe as they were deciding to move to Albuquerque, just down the road from us. As fate would have it, though, we were going to move to Florida, to sea level, because Jan had developed an intolerance for Santa Fe’s altitude and her breathing was compromised. I was so disappointed that we wouldn’t be close to my oldest friend and her partner. We vowed to keep in better touch and we have done so. Every time I come to Santa Fe we get together for a meal and a gab fest.
That’s what happened yesterday. We met at possibly the best New Mexican restaurant I’ve ever been to. We were in a booth with a wonderful, friendly server who was impressed at the length of time we’ve known each other. We found out that she is way younger than our friendship. The place was busy, but our server told us to stay as long as we wanted to. So we did. Three hours later we were still talking and laughing. We gave our server a great big tip for her accommodation.
We have all aged. Tylka’s hair is all silver where mine is hybrid, some silver, some not. We have laugh lines and aches and pains and systems that suddenly go out of whack, like when Tylka had what her doctor calls a “massive heart attack” a few years ago. She has a pacemaker now. She and Cynthia are very involved with volunteer work of various kinds. We agreed that staying busy is the best way to stave off old age. I looked at the lines on my friend’s face and am happy to say that I remember that face without any lines or sags. It’s been 61 years since we became acquaintances and then friends. I am forever grateful to the Universe for arranging that our paths would cross in a place far far away in a time long long ago.