Today’s blog
Lynn Murphy Mark
Welcome to 70+
I am now 73, well beyond what I thought my life expectancy would be. Both parents died in their early 60’s, although they contributed to an early demise by smoking and drinking to excess. Other family members have lived well into their 80’s so I think my gene pool is in pretty good shape. Except for turning 70.
Young people are right when they say we older folks are always going on about our physical and mental complaints. In fact, if you’re in a group of septuagenerians and there’s a lull in the conversation simply mention your latest symptom and watch the talking start. At my recent first cousin reunion in Indiana we had to get all the medical talk out of the way before we could start on reminiscing.
It’s amazing to me how readily we talk about bodily functions at this age. But, really, when you turn 70 you can almost count on waking up and discovering some break down in one of your systems. These come out of the blue without advance warning, like the morning my left shoulder hurt like hell and I thought maybe I had shoulder cancer – even though there’s no such thing. (Once a hospice nurse always a hospice nurse.). Or the morning I woke up and couldn’t walk more than 15 feet without being very short of breath. Like I said, no advance warning that I overnight developed a touch of congestive heart failure.
The question, “How are you?” is no longer appropriately answered by the words, “Fine, and you?” At this age it is a query that requires a rundown of symptoms and what the latest doctor said about them. I find that some doctors don’t take too seriously our litany of things wrong. They know we’re in our 70’s and we are required, psychologically, to report any potential or actual disruption to our health.
It seems like nothing is sacred anymore. When I was much younger and of childbearing age and I bore two children, during labor it no longer mattered that the private side of me was exposed for all to see. After that, it doesn’t matter who sees what. Now I’m way older and have learned that no bodily function is off the discussion table when I’m with my familiars.
It’s funny to me that these discussions take place at both ends of life. When babies are born, mothers feel free to discuss all manner of bodily fluids and functions in the baby. It’s even cute when a baby poops. This event is sometimes followed by a complete description of the product.
Like it or not, new moms will wax eloquent about what a baby is capable of releasing.
I’d like to think that we 70+ people are a little more discrete. But I have heard some poop descriptions from members of my group. I think it helps that I am once-a-nurse-always-a-nurse.
(We nurses can eat a meal while discussing some pretty disgusting things that bodies are capable of doing.). Don’t be fooled though. Every nurse has at least one function coming from a patient that can turn a stomach. Mine is mucus. I’ll stop there. But, if you know a nurse, ask what they are most disgusted by as they practice their craft. I guarantee an answer.
I am having lunch with a couple of friends today. They are preparing to become people of my age group. Come to think of it, I am sure that we will start out with a conversation about the latest aches and pains – and they aren’t even in the 70’s yet. Oh well, practice makes perfect.