Today’s blog
Lynn Murphy Mark
Halftime
All this week Richard Rohr’s meditations have been about people living in the second half of life. At 74, I am past halftime and in the third or fourth quarter of my life. That used to bother me, when I first considered that I have more time behind me than ahead of me. The more I thought about it, though, the more I felt the freedom that comes with ageing. First of all, stuff that was irritating to me is no longer even a consideration. My inner self is much more at peace than she used to be, partly because I have experienced so many ups and downs that I’ve come to believe that what’s down must come up sooner or later.
The other saving grace is that my soul sisters and brothers are on this voyage with me, in varying stages of acceptance. I know a couple of people who sailed through most of their time unscathed by serious illness or bodily changes. Now that they are feeling the aches and pains from worn out body parts they live with a mixture of surprise, disappointment, anxiety and a little anger thrown in. They look upon the changes as a kind of betrayal of previous norms of wellbeing. The stress this causes them is palpable and ageing is not a comfortable conversation for them. I pray for some sort of calm and solace to settle around them.
This half of life has been a period of spiritual growth for me. And, I’m blessed with my Unity faith, assuring me that God is within as well as outside of me. God is in all things that I can see, feel, and hear. God is in people, places and circumstances that I encounter every day. When I am paying attention, which I try to do as often as possible, I feel an immense sense of gratitude for the gifts that come my way. Even the ones that are uncomfortable or painful hold lessons, and at this age I am more likely to learn from them. Lessons are inevitable. They are part of the ongoing response from the Universe, a master class in awareness, acceptance, and the art of thinking about their meaning.
In one particularly touching meditation, Richard Rohr talks about “bright sadness and a sober happiness” as being characteristic of this time. I read that and think about how my perspective has changed. I am more aware of and less afraid of suffering, because it is also inevitable. I had a friend who has since left the planet that used to say she could not believe in a God that allowed so much suffering in the world. She could not reconcile her distrust of any deity that gave out cancer and war and harm to the planet. She was a brilliant woman and an artist and a gourmet cook. She lived in her head. It was a malignant brain tumor that caused her death, the irony of which makes me sad to this day.
My view of God and suffering is simply the belief that God is right in the midst of tragedy. God is in the people who respond to horrible events by doing what they can to mitigate the effects of the trauma around them. God is in the health care worker who takes time to be present for someone who is fighting against demons, be they physical or mental. God lives in and between people who are good friends. God is in the whispers of intuition that arise and result in the hopeful, helpful changes we are willing to make.
Tomorrow Jan and I take off for Florida for Thanksgiving week. I am taking a book with us by Katherine Dowling Singh entitled, “The Grace in Aging”. Rose recommends it. We’ll spend some time reading and discussing how that grace manifests for us. I look forward to these conversations.