Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

My haptic grandson

“Haptic – related to the sense of touch especially as regards  the perception and manipulation of objects using the sense of touch.” Word Daily. Xander, my youngest grandson, represents this adjective perfectly, and has since he was able to hold an object in each hand. As he said on his birthday, he has “waited all his life to be five”, but as a young baby he engaged in the practice of banging two things together. It was blocks at first – bang bang bang would go the big plastic colorful cubes as he waged a war between blue and yellow, or whatever colors were at hand.

When he graduated to baby plastic feeding implements, the wars continued between spoon and baby fork. He was pre-verbal at this point, so whatever he was thinking was not able to be expressed yet. But he was intent on his game. As the years passed and plastic Marvel action guys manifested, everything got more sophisticated. Now he could talk about the body slamming between Captain America and Iron Man. Even though they are basically on the same side, his two characters would be working out some hidden agenda to the tune of pssseeeewww noises that little boys produce practically from birth, and brief phrases. “Got you!”. “Take that!”. One figure would go flying through the air only to resume the battle quickly. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles soon got their turns in the ring.

Xander can entertain himself for a very long time, manipulating his toys. He never seems to grow tired of perpetual war. While I was there visiting, one evening his chore was to put away the silverware from the dishwasher. Jackie and I were sitting in the dining room, within earshot. As he put the implements away he whispered things like, “If spoon and fork would fight, which one would win?”. This thinking came from one of his books on animals and how sometimes they fight each other. So even during chores, he was thinking through potential battles.

He is a happy, peaceful little boy. Being in a Montessori pre-school has helped him by nurturing his desire for learning, respect, and understanding. He loves books and animal centered TV shows and Marvel movies. He has been attracted to the “Lion King” movie since babyhood. Next year, when he turns 6 and will be allowed to attend, my big gift to the whole family will be tickets to Lion King on Broadway. That will take care of birthdays and Christmas in one fell swoop, and I’d better start saving now. It is a magical show. I know because I have been blessed to see it twice myself.

Xander and Cameron and their dad are on their own for a few days. Jackie and her sister, Kate, have carved out some time to travel together to Cancun and have a woman’s weekend. They are close, and have been since their respective selves were introduced through the marriage of Jackie’s father to Kate’s mother. The last I heard, they were trying to figure out how to order a second round of margaritas in Spanish. I hope they can see the beach from where they are staying. They are two hard working women – Kate is a nurse midwife and Jackie is an assistant principal – and they deserve to lounge around and be waited on!

Today’s date means that later this afternoon I will go to the eye doctor to have a laser ray remove the cloud of debris on my left cataract lens. But first I’ll go to work and address a number of issues that have come up for some of my clients. It’s mostly all good. One gentleman’s petition to bring his aging mother here from Colombia has been approved, and now starts the process to get her an interview at the US Embassy in Bogota where they will give her the necessary visa to live in the US with her son. Another similar case is on my desk – a woman has gotten approval of her petition to bring her husband here from Ghana. These cases are sources of joy for me. Speaking of delight – what is it that gives you joy?

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