04/10/2022
Lynn Murphy Mark
Today I will connect with a friend that I have known since 1972 – that’s one half of a century! At the time, I was a student nurse working weekends as an aide on the locked psychiatric ward at Deaconess Hospital.
The Viet Nam war was going on and there were two Conscientious Objectors working as orderlies on the Unit. Virgil was a stunningly handsome young man and his friend, Merwyn, was a very bright seminary student. They were both great to work with and I enjoyed getting to know them.
Part of getting to know them was meeting Merwyn’s girlfriend at the time, a student at Washington University whose career goal was to go to law school at Wash U. Cassondra was a born New Yorker, a brilliant woman herself. I could see why the two of them were attracted to each other. I really don’t remember the early details of getting to know each other. But ours was a friendship that would outlast her relationship with Merwyn.
The two guys finished their seminary education and departed St. Louis for their first assignments in two Lutheran churches out of state. I think Cassondra and Merwyn just drifted apart as distance and circumstances separated them. Cassondra was admitted to Wash U’s law school and we continued our educations.
Cassondra is the reason that I have two wonderful children. I had just gotten a little car, a Chevy Vega, and we were going to celebrate by going to Cyrano’s for a huge ice cream concoction. She told me to stop in a parking lot so she could inspect the whole car, including the trunk. Once the trunk was opened, I could not get it shut. While I went in to a building to call the dealership she picked up a random guy who offered to help. He managed to get the trunk closed and she invited him to go to Cyrano’s with us.
For some reason that made me grumpy, but he agreed to go and I wasn’t rude enough to tell him to get lost. He was a nice enough person and she invited him to go back to her dorm with us for further conversation. I didn’t know what her end game was, but I huffed my way to her dorm room. It didn’t help that I was wearing my student nurse uniform that had a small urine stain on it. When we were done with conversation we both left. On the way out, he invited me to go to dinner sometime and he got my dorm phone number. I didn’t expect to hear from him because I sure wouldn’t have called my grumpy self.
But he called, we went out, we eventually got married, and we had two children. Our marriage ended thirteen years later, but my friendship with Cassondra continued. By this time she was an attorney working in an international law firm in New York City. Over the years she has come to St. Louis and I have traveled to New York City. We get together as often as we can.
Now she is here for a class reunion at Wash U. I will pick her up later and take her to the Botanical Garden for lunch where we will catch up, and tell stories and show pictures of our grandchildren. It will seem as if the last 50 years have flown by and we will talk about our lives for hours until I take her to the airport for her flight home.
Fifty years in a human life is a good long time. The miracle of friendship is that friends can go their separate ways and remain connected over the miles and the years. Cassondra and I have had decent careers, both been married and divorced, and raised two children each. When my daughter, Jackie, moved to New York City I had the assurance that Cassondra would take her under her wing and show her the ways of that huge metropolis. That was just one of the gifts of our friendship!