05/08/2022
Lynn Murphy Mark
Mother’s Day
Yesterday I read Anne Lamotte’s piece on Mother’s Day. It’s not her favorite holiday for a variety of reasons. She wrote about the sorrow of the day for so many women: the ones whose mother is gone from this earth, the ones who by choice or by circumstance did not have children, the ones who have lost a child themselves, the ones who will not see their children, the ones who are estranged from their mothers. It seems to me that this could represent a pretty big number of people with sad hearts on this day.
Thousands of bouquets of flowers are delivered. For those at long-distance there will be telephone calls. I hope to hear from my two children, one on each coast. I am proud and happy to be their mother, and I miss them terribly. When I think of my kids, it feels like Mother’s Day each time the pass through my mind. It is a rare opportunity to be with them in person. Every one of those days is like Mother’s Day to me.
My mother has been gone for forty-one years. As Mother’s Day approaches I remember what happened on the days preceding her death. She died a few days after Mother’s Day in 1981, the year her first grandchild was born. The closest she got to Jackie was to feel her kicking and moving around in my belly. She pronounced her as “a damn fine baby!”. On that Mother’s Day I brought her some flowers and spent the afternoon with her. It was not an easy time and before the sun set she had to go back on the ventilator and back to ICU.
These thoughts crowd in with the happiness of considering how much I love my children, and what an honor it is and has been to be a part of their lives. They are both kind people with a well-developed sense of humor. I think that might be my greatest gift to them – that ability to catch the irony and sense the absurd. They are both productive workers, having seen the example from their father and from me.
When we divorced we had a joint 50/50 custody plan. It worked as well as it could have and required cooperation with each other from the adults in their lives. Richard remarried and the kids had a new mom and two siblings. I am forever grateful to Diane for taking my children under her wings and being a mom to them. That was a gift from the Universe…So, today, I wish her a Happy Mother’s Day with love and respect for her dedication.
Now that I am with Jan, the kids have three moms. Jan has known them since 2005 so she got to be a part of their maturing and now she gets to be a grandma to Jackie’s two precious boys. Sometimes she can’t believe how lucky she is to be a part of this blended family. Until she held Cameron when he was a baby, she had never had that opportunity in her life. I know she felt that utter joy that comes from having a baby in your arms.
I am posting my mom’s picture, from a time before she got so ill. I love this picture. Hey mom, I still miss you!