Today’s blog #2
Lynn Murphy Mark
On leaving home
Earlier today I had a phone conversation with a dear friend. I have known her for several decades and in many ways I owe her a debt of gratitude for something she did for me all the way back in 1995. She helped me get out of a sticky situation at my workplace and made it possible for me to start my journey in Hospice nursing. I don’t think she realizes what a profound effect her actions had on my life. I, for one, will never forget it.
Like many of us, she has lived in her home for a number of years, maintaining her independence in a gracious way in her gracious home. Some of this is possible because her family adores her and will do anything she needs or wants. She has a collection of friends who love to come and visit with her. I am one of those lucky people.
My best friend, Rose, has known her for a very very long time. I’m not sure how far back they go but it’s a prodigious span of time. Not that they are old, or anything….but an 8 and a 9 appear somewhere in their ages. Anyway, Rose and I got in a habit of having lunch with her once a month or so. The three of us would talk about old times, and what’s happening in our worlds, and what the latest news is from their friends in common. We would bring lunch or it would be delivered. We would gab and eat. And then, we would raid her freezer for some killer ice cream bars.
One time she asked me if I drank wine. Of course I do, and the prospect of drinking it at lunchtime was a fun one. So, a new element was introduced to the luncheon fare. Turns out we both like the same kind of wine, Sauvignon Blanc, which many wine connoisseurs dismiss as Sauvignon Bland. Oh well.
We would sit in her kitchen. The rest of her elegant home looked quite comfortable, but somehow the kitchen table was our spot. Rose and I got so we knew where the glasses and silverware were and we could help ourselves to whatever we needed. We laughed a lot as we ate our salads or sandwiches or those killer ice cream bars. They are the kind of ice cream that gets delivered to your home, so you know it has to be high quality stuff! One time we got to her house just as the Schwann truck was leaving – Thank God, there would be bars!!
Our conversation today was full of surprises. She had some health challenges. She got COVID. Being a nurse, she was able to describe succinctly what had transpired. It was serious enough to warrant time in a rehab facility. Somewhere in that journey through the medical world she began thinking about moving to a place where help would be immediately available. I don’t know what it took for her to make that decision, but she is moving in a couple of weeks. She called because she wants to be sure that Rose and I will come for lunch to her new place.
She sounds absolutely confident about her decision. I didn’t hear any regret, but perhaps there has been some. I just heard an independent woman who is comfortable with her new plan and already looking for ways to maintain some good habits, like inviting friends for lunch. I didn’t hear any sadness, although perhaps there has been some. I heard a practical woman who will absolutely make the best of her new digs. I can’t wait until it’s time to visit. Although, we might have to bring our own ice cream bars.