03/27/2022
Lynn Murphy Mark
After I settled in to my job as a middle school nurse, my boss broke the news to me that I was in charge of Sex Ed for all three grades. There was a curriculum, there were guest speakers, and my role was to teach a couple of sessions during the week-long experience for each grade. I’ll admit that I was terrified when I saw the extent of the material for which I alone was responsible.
Each grade had its own program, resources, and outside speakers. I was always grateful when the guest speakers were present and my only job was to be sure they were shown to the right classroom and then to sit in class and help with discipline when needed.
The students looked forward to this training for two reasons: it was a break from formal science class and it was about the highly charged subject of sex. In middle school sex is a real draw, as students experience changes in their bodies and have been exposed to enough sex scenes in movies and other media to have a vague idea of what’s involved. They have also absorbed information from unreliable sources and their heads are full of mistaken impressions gotten from God knows where, but turned into solid belief in their minds.
As sex educators it is our job to present reality, which is usually a lot less fun than what the kids have been “taught” by peers and even adults sometimes. I was also astonished at the lack of parental teaching of the basics. Parents had to sign a form if they did NOT want their child to participate. In my five years of teaching, I had two students who were not given permission to be in sex ed class. The other parents of our 750 cherubs were more than happy to have us tackle the tough stuff.
I was to teach the anatomy portion of how easy it can be to get pregnant, the chance of getting a sexually transmitted infection, and the process of childbirth. I also included the stark reality of the life changing experience of bringing another human being into the world. Again, during my five years there I had three students who carried a baby to term and became mothers while in middle school.
Teaching reproductive anatomy to middle school kids is a laugh a minute for the instructor. As details emerge there are loud gasps, lots of giggling, and an occasional student who would pass out. Most of the kids are embarrassed, but some are curious enough to ask questions. I always tried to give an answer that made sense, given their lack of life experience. But I found that including little know facts about sex always got their attention. For instance, just to prove how determined sperm are to find an egg to fertilize I cited a scientifically backed study that showed that when sperm are ejaculated, in their haste to reach a target they shoot out at around 25 miles an hour. Now that they would remember!
The 8th graders saw a full frontal video of a live birth. That usually resulted in my overhearing students as they left class saying things like, “I’m never having sex again!!”. “Again” being the operative word.
I know that there are school districts that teach abstinence only as a way to prevent the many complications of teen-age and pre-teen experimentation with all things sexual. That would not have worked in my district, where kids were sexually active at a pretty early age. There’s lots of reasons for that, and that’s for another blog. I felt like we were honoring our responsibility to teach kids the facts, teach them preventive strategies, and, as the adult in the room, be a source of knowledge, truth, and support at a very confusing time of life.