Today’s blog
Lynn Murphy Mark
Beloved Community
I don’t know who first coined the term “Beloved Community”, but I do know that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., referred to this phenomenon frequently. This is what we create when, as humans, we strive to meet each person’s needs, and do so with love in our hearts. In the Xhosa language in Africa, the word “Ubuntu” recognizes the value of our common humanity. I am who I am because of you being who you are. In the Hindu faith, “Namaste” is a greeting meant to say that the divine in me greets the divine in you. If only we all lived by these humanitarian tenets, as the song goes, what a wonderful world this would be.
These are powerful words. In a sweet way, I have experienced all three this weekend. One thing I love about traveling is the possibility of encountering kindred souls on the journey. We met such a person when we checked into the Best Western in New Jersey. The man at the front desk went out of his way to welcome us warmly and let us know what we are entitled to as “gold members” in the Best Western family. After a long day of planes, trains, and automobiles we were grateful for a drink and a snack on the house.
There have been several conversations with this young man since our check-in. We recognized our place in common in the LGBTQI+ community. He learned about how Jan and I met, later in our lives. We learned that he has been with the man who is now his spouse for over 30 years. We heard his story of coming out as a young teenager and being rejected and ejected from the house by his father. He told us his story as if we had been friends for years. Amazingly a bond formed between us just in the telling of this one piece of our lives.
Our time with Jackie and Momoh and the boys has also been a beloved community experience. At one point, Diane, who is one of the three grandmothers, was explaining to Alexander the relationships between us. She told him that her husband, known as Papa, used to be married to me, Alexander’s Yaya, and that we were his mother’s mommy and daddy. Then she clarified that she, Nana, is married to Papa now and that Gigi (Jan) and Yaya (me) are now married. By the end of this tale Alexander seemed to understand the relationships between all of us humans.
Jackie’s house is a multicultural place. The inhabitants come from Nigeria and Missouri, with the addition of two New Jersey golden-hued boys. She and Momoh are planning an extensive trip to Africa this Summer, taking the boys to see parts of their heritage. They will meet their Nigerian aunts and uncles and cousins and their great grandmother, whose age is unknown. No doubt it will be a rich experience for all involved and it will create another community for the boys to be a part of.
As we sat around the table after dinner the talk turned to an extensive discussion about our racist origins in this country. The boys were in and out of the talk and I don’t know how much they picked up. At one point someone asked Jackie if it was ok to be having this conversation. Her response was to look around and say, “If not in this house, then where?”. Indeed.
I believe that building a Beloved Community is possible, and, in fact, essential for our future well being. I believe that Ubuntu and Namaste are bridges to the love we need to extend to one another. I am not naïve enough to think this is even going to happen in my lifetime. I do have enough faith to see the possibilities unfolding as my grandsons grow and learn. Their parents will be sure to impart these values to them. The future is theirs now.