Lynn Murphy Mark
02/14/2022
In Brene Brown’s lastest book, Atlas of the Heart, she says this about gratitude: “Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others.”
Last week in a meeting, one of the women said she had started her day by writing three things that she would be grateful for that very day. What a great way to start off! I know people make gratitude lists at the end of their day but I hadn’t thought about doing it before the day actually unfolds. By 10:30 that morning, she had experienced one of her reasons to be thankful.
It is a great exercise to write about gratitude – what it is, what it feels like, and what it can bring. As I think about my life I realize that I have many reasons to feel fulfilled and thankful. I have been asked if I have a gratitude practice. I do not. But it’s never too late to start.
The first question that comes to mind is if I have ever had a low time in my life that gratitude helped lift me out of. I can think of a couple of times when I was really worried about money, and a family member helped me out without my asking. I have been the beneficiary of generosity and I have held the person in my grateful heart. Another time, when I was in the midst of a big depression, Dr. Montgomery put me one Prozac and it worked. I will always be grateful to her for her help in a very dark time of my life.
My thanks-giving extends to the benefit of having good friends. Because of friends, my life has been enriched, and stretched in a good way, and I have a source of so many really good lessons.
I could make a list. I have one engraved in my heart, where I can reach in and find a memory that has changed me for the better. Or one that has sustained me when I needed it.
I can’t say enough about how precious friends have become like family to me. As an only child I have relied on friends for love, joy, support, fun times, and serious times. I hope I have returned the favor when needed.
I am grateful for my faith life that has been changed since I found Unity in 2012. The minute I walked on the grounds of Unity of Naples and sat in the sanctuary, I felt like I had found a home where I could grow spiritually. That feeling continues here in St. Louis, at First Unity Church. Unity holds such hope for a positive path through life by the application of principles underpinned by God’s unending love. As a spiritual way of life, Unity brings together gratitude for what we have, what we give and what we receive. Unity stresses the power of positive thinking, knowing that abundance is all around, waiting to be found. The Unity ministers and teachers have taught me that we are all expressions of God through our actions and behaviors.
Among my greatest blessings are Ted and Jackie, my precious children. I am so grateful to have been a part of their growing up and maturing into the kind, competent, graceful people that they are. I am also grateful for their partners in life, Sarah and Momoh. Sarah has stood by Ted through his long academic career, and has been there with him when he has gone through tough times. They are devoted to each other and after 13 years of togetherness I think they are going to keep each other. As for Momoh, he is a brilliant man always looking for the next new thing to learn. He and Jackie provide a sweet home for Cameron and Xander, who are my treasured grandsons. Momoh has brought an entirely new view into our lives – his Nigerian heritage. His sons are truly African-Americans!
Jan is my life partner and I am grateful that we are together. There are challenges, but what relationship doesn’t have those? I know that she loves me dearly because she never fails to say so. I can go to her with anything and get a wise perspective. She has a fine mind and is as smart as a whip. We have been together since 2005, going on 17 years in 2022. If I could wish anything for her it is that she be able to achieve a more realistic and healthy medication regimen. She is trying to do just that, and I admire her courage for trying. My prayer is that this will give her more energy and interest in spending her “golden years” in a more outward facing way.
Gratitude is essential. Otherwise we could not appreciate the good in our lives. I can’t imagine living under such a shadow!
1 thought on “On Gratitude”
I like Brene Brown’s research, books, and style. Her definition of Gratitude is spot on, as is our need to cultivate the habit of naming that for which we are grateful. As a young person raised in a dysfunctional family, I found profound gratitude for the 3 neighborhood Moms (Marion, Virgie, & Shirley) who came forward to provide me with loving and supportive mothering. For the neighborhood Dad (Phill) who provided me with understanding, love, and support, as well as a positive role model.
As a young adult, I found my way to have gratitude for those who had caused me distress, trauma, and/or consternation; sometimes all 3. I realized that (negative) Spiritual Partners come into our lives to allow us to determine our own path, whether they can influence us to follow an improper path; whether they can get us to be uncaring like they are; whether we stand immobile while they abuse or harass others. I had gratitude when I accepted the strength I had not to be like them; I had gratitude for their time in my life so that I could “choose” the path I knew was for me; I had gratitude for the many chances I had to stand up for others; and I had gratitude for those who shared their wisdom with me that made a profound difference in my life.
Those (positive) Spiritual Partners who extended me their hard learned wisdom included Ms. Clara (who showed me through her own grace under fire how to persevere when around abusive/traumatizing people), Sheriff’s Captain Doug (who told me to pick 1-3 people in my life that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt had only my best interest in mind…and then listen only to their advice…not the advice of those who didn’t care about me), the professors in my life (who saw in me the talents I had and encouraged me to strengthen these talents), the bosses in my life (positive & negative) who allowed me the space to grow into my role within the organization), and the staff who chose to follow my lead (when they didn’t have to) and helped to make a difference in the lives of so many people!
Finally, I have gratitude for my family & friends whom I value! I have gratitude for this lifetime where I have been allowed the opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others so that they can make a difference in the lives of even more people!
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